How can i mingle with others

You have more to contribute than you think. Instead of spending small amounts of time with a lot of people, spend more time with a smaller number of carefully chosen people. You may find it comforting to know that the strength and longevity of your relationships depend more on the quality, and far less upon the quantity, of your connections. Listening attentively shows respect for both the person speaking and what they have to say. Making a personal connection is the very first step towards building mutually beneficial partnerships.

Most of what we say is communicated not in words, but subconsciously in gestures, voice tone, posture and other aspects of how we physically hold ourselves. Stand tall, keep an open stance and look people directly in the eye. These actions go a long way toward creating meaningful connections.

Practice power poses in private before networking events to get in the right frame of mind and to boost your confidence. Related: You Don't Say? This will show you are paying attention and will make the other person feel important.

Remembering everyone you meet is impossible, yet when you make a concerted effort to remember two or three names at each event you attend, you'll become better with practice. When you are interested in others and they will become interested in you. Inquire about what matters most to people, then center your conversations around their priorities. A mutually-beneficial relationship is one based on trust, respect and goodwill.

The result is a long-term quality connection in which information and resources are freely exchanged. This article goes into a lot more detail about it , but overall a lot of people say they're okay having polite one-on-one conversations, but they're not as good in loud, hectic, dog-eat-dog group discussions. Those often occur at parties, especially when there's drinking involved.

The piece I just linked to goes into depth, but in general: Realize you need to be more forward and assertive about speaking up and claiming your time to talk. It's expected and okay. Everyone's excited to talk and wants to say something, so if you politely wait your turn you'll get overlooked. When it is your turn to speak, you'll also get quickly talked over if you're too soft-spoken and meek, or you take too long to get your point out.

Just accept what these conversations are and what they aren't. They're not going to be civilized or go too in-depth about any particular subject. They're fun and jokey and the topic will jump all over the place.

If the group is really big, try to split off a sub-conversation. This point doesn't apply so much to more refined, orderly parties. To appreciate more rowdy ones you need to be in a certain mindset, and this doesn't come naturally to everyone. I talk about it more in this article: Regular Logical Mode Vs. Essentially, some people are fine when social interactions are more structured, subdued, and focused on politely discussing a particular topic.

They don't really know what to do with themselves with things get more raucous and goofy, and people seem more interested in making loud jokes and performing wacky stunts than sitting around and talking about environmentalism.

They may even look down on anyone who's in a fun, partying mentality, and see them as annoying and immature. They can have a better time when they learn to switch gears and socialize in a way where they try to have some nice mindless fun for its own sake.

People sometimes think of mingling like it's a mechanical process. I know some advice on it can unintentionally give the impression that you need to approach it that way. In practice it's not really a matter of, "I will spend the party making the rounds and speaking to people. I will make each interaction six minutes long. I will acquire the following information from each person In my experience, at parties it's best to go with the flow, talk to the people who look interesting to you, and see where the night takes you.

If you want to try, go for it, but don't feel you have to talk to every last guest. There's no party rule that says if you're a bad person for not doing that. A lot of people don't. You've got to make decisions, and often you'll decide you'll have a better time if you keep chatting to the hilarious friends you met in the kitchen, as opposed to breaking away to introduce yourself to that new insular looking couple that just showed up.

For whatever reason, two metaphors come to mind when I think about mingling at parties. The first is to see a party like a fairground. At any party there are all these sub groups, conversations, and activities going on. One group is talking in the back yard, another is on the front porch, some people are playing video games downstairs, four buddies are playing flip cup in the garage, some friends are telling travel stories in the living room, some roommates are talking in the kitchen, three people are doing shots in there as well, and so on.

Everyone is moving around throughout the evening and visiting the various "fairground booths". There's no expectation to go to all of them. Some people will stick to one for a long time. Others will check out a bunch quickly, then go back and forth between two of them. As the night goes on new things to check out will pop up.

There's no right way to see the attractions, you just have to wonder around and head toward whatever looks fun. The second metaphor, which gets at the same idea, is that I picture people at a party as a bunch of ping pong balls floating in a tub of water, and drifting around on the surface.

For a time a few balls may cluster together, but then they'll break up and maybe temporarily group with a few others I have no idea if this is actually how a bunch of ping pong balls would behave in water, but let's go with it. Basically, the movement of people from group to group is spontaneous and chaotic. Someone may to be talking to one group, then see their friend doing something fun and leave to watch what they're doing. Then they need to use the bathroom and run into someone else on their way back, and end up going outside with them.

Again, go to a party intending to just drift along like this, don't feel you must start at the front door and systematically work your way around the room or anything.

Some people get drained easily while socializing , and if there's one situation that's going to do it, it's going to be a party, especially if it wasn't totally their choice to attend. Once more, see the linked article for more thoughts, but some things you can try are: Have a pre-set excuse for needing to leave early, like that you have to work the next day, or you have to visit your aunt, or you've got to meet someone else later and can only drop by for a bit.

Join an activity that will give you an excuse to be more low key and take a break, like plopping down on a couch to watch a bit of a movie, or playing cards. Maybe there's a smaller, more intimate conversation on the back deck that's more your speed. Find reasons to get away for a bit. Volunteer to run down the corner store on your own to buy more snacks or drink mix.

Step aside and pretend to have a text conversation on your phone. Regular tiredness and feeling socially drained often blur together. Doing things to fight normal fatigue can also socially reinvigorate you. You can have a bit of caffeine, or if you get sleepy, just wait twenty minutes or so to catch a second wind.

Some people find this really awkward and don't like having all the focus on them while they announce to everyone that they're leaving, or when they have to find a bunch of friends and say their goodbyes. I don't think there's one right way to make an exit, and you don't necessarily have to track down every last person you know to tell them you're taking off. In terms of things feeling awkward, that's just something you can get used to if you do it enough.

In general, it is polite to let at least your good friends know you're leaving. Just say you're heading out, and don't feel you have to have a five-minute going away conversation with each of them.

If you're taking off early, don't make it seem like a big deal. Every party has some guests who have to head out before the others. I'm Chris Macleod. I've been writing about social skills for fifteen years. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time.

I'm trained as a counselor. There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help.

I'm currently working with clients who live in Ontario, Canada:. Improving Your Overall Personality. Succeed Socially A free guide to getting past social awkwardness. Article continues below SPONSORED Free training: "How to double your social confidence in 5 minutes" On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.

About the author I'm Chris Macleod. More About Me Contact Me. One-on-one support There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise.

Making Friends. Developmental Differences. The Process Of Improving. It is often said most will forget what you have told them, even what you have done for them, but they will always remember how what you did felt. For an introvert, it can help to do a little homework before social events. Before arriving, be sure to take a moment to look up some information:. Odds are, if you are at a party where you know few people, you are friends with the host. That is an excellent starting point because the host will know everyone else in the room.

If there is a friend who the host knows shares a common interest, the host will likely be able to ensure that you cross paths. Similarly, being seen with the host lets other guests know that you are there for a reason, making people warm up to you. You will feel more confident and comfortable, and others will be less defensive towards you. If you are at a networking event, find the key organizers.

Let them know that you enjoyed the setup people love to be appreciated for their work. Getting to know people who are in positions where they are in charge of organizing events is a great way to be introduced to other members who are active within a community, be it a professional organization or a community group. Everyone appreciates an extra set of hands for setting up any event. Being helpful also offers a distraction from being anxious by providing a task to perform. This can create natural ways to open conversation with others without it seeming forced.

The more experience you have with the arrangement of the party, the more you can contribute to conversations guests start regarding aspects of the party.